Thursday, September 27, 2012

Piercing Regret ~ How to Find Hope and Healing

instantly apologized for being unwise {that seems too nice a word} , I think I read a quick-subtle look of "oh, no!" on my sweet friend's face and I was cued to my error. My heart sunk as I knew, {I knew!} what must be going through her mind and churning in her heart. Because I have been her. I have wanted to shield my children from ugly things that they are too young to handle, {Are we are ever really mature enough to handle them?} and shield myself from having to relay the ills of this world to them.

As I consider and as I express to others the power of speaking words to bring life into our living. (Proverbs 18:21) To illuminate the darkness in a soul to set it free with truth (John 8:36)... I found my mouth spilled spewed a story that instantly after telling it, caused me deep remorse. I told a story to my friend while on a walk with her and her children {who were not at an age where they should have to hear of {the reality of soldiers taking their own lives}}. What blew my mind was that I did not think of the end of the story as I began if it had a different point. One not so ugly. Where is the rewind button???

In the instant of regret was an inward cry upward, and in the prayer a whisper back to me..."pray with her when you get back home. Change the subject for now." so I talked about learning to drive a tractor when I was twelve. The boys, of around 6 and 9 years old followed my lead...thank you God

In awkward human-weakness, after returning to her house, I prayed a bold prayer with her. (She thanked me, assured me of grace.) Then I said good-bye with less faith than I longed for, that the Lord would cover me on this one. My words had pierced my friend I guessed, and my words pierced my own heart too. Words that I cannot take back. Once words are out there, there they are. All the raw evidence of my weak and flawed humanity...and what can I do? I pray...

Lord, shield little hearts from misspoken words, and help me find peace and faith. Help me to trust you! I sent out an email to a few close friends to pray for me and my friends and the boys...

And then the magazine, Voice of the Martyrs arrives in my mail-box, and all I do is take one glance and recall stories I have read of real-ugly things real children see. Their families and friends tortured, their parents abducted. A bit of comfort in reality? Not so much. And not excusing my foolishness, but comforting me in the Lord's ability to answer my prayer that there would be no detrimental effects from my temporary insanity. (assured because I recall also how the children not only survive but thrive often in this crazy life) ...That He would intercept and keep the innocent boys from thoughts that would be difficult for them to process, He would help my friend know how to counsel her children wisely-He knows their needs. My heart breaks and broken things need fixing... words cannot be retracted, but I know a God who performs miracles and I asked for one today. He is my only hope and I know He is all hope needs to land upon. (Psalm 91:15) 

Would you please pray? 
Pray for the innocent boys and girls everywhere who are exposed to the ugliness of life with no parents to intercept their fears.
Pray for the soldiers(Who need to know the God of hope can help them)
Pray for the persecuted(Who need to sense that the God of hope is with them)
Pray for us who have tongues of fire (James 3:6), for grace to tame them and especially mine. (Who needs the God of hope to cover and to make me wise)
Thank you. Thank you for reading, and for praying and thank you, thank You ...for grace. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

To Really Love You Must Get It

There is a longing in every heart to be loved. We burn with a desire to be known and understood and accepted. Our experiences with people throughout our lives shapes our view of ourselves and our view of love. Even when we come from a loving family, most of us come into teen and adulthood with more longing than fulfillment. 


Human love is broken. Human love is limited. Human love actually backfires because of our selfish nature, we often 'love' with wrong motives...out of our own need, not out of fullness, so we love-warped. We warp love. Jesus said, 

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." ~John 15:13

Since we have that need, that longing, that hole in our soul, until we get it filled up, we will love warped. We cannot lay down our life unless we know we are already whole! That is what Jesus did, what He had to do to fill us with His love. He had everything, so He could come and lay it down, that we could take it up and lay ours down

Only in taking up His love, in receiving Him, can we lay ours down to love others. Receiving His love can only be done through knowing that our love-need can never be filled apart from His perfect unselfish Love. {we tend to have our expectations on human love and it disappoints, doesn't it?}

When we do receive His love, then He comes into us by His Spirit. (Romans 5:5) His Holy Spirit, the one Perfect-Love Spirit, the only Love that can make us whole comes to live inside of us and then we can lay ours down. We are then full, we are fully loved, so we give true love. Give His love from our full heart. That is the only way to love pure and unselfishly, if it is His love we are giving...

This is what John 3:16 is about. God so loved... He gave...that we might really live. To really live is to be full of love, to overflow His love. Are you full? Or are you spent, so spent you have nothing to give? Here is your invitation. Let Him in today. He loves you! 

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. ~Revelation 3:20

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Chased by Grace

From last night when I was chasing my grandson Bennett around this my delight and his, my mind circled back to this post.
I keep coming back to it again and again... this {Chased by Grace} post by Ann Voskamp. I can't stop thinking about it. About how God chases us with all His love and goodness.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hey, Where Did You Get Your Wings?

Trusting God equals believing He WILL catch me when He calls me to jump. also means being willing to leave the 'familiar and sturdy ground' when He calls me to take flight...since I don't have wings, I better know God is faithful. 

Image by ccheviron
How do I know? 

How did Abraham know when God said, 'leave' your family and people and left behind all that was familiar? How did Noah know when God said, 'build an ark in this desert' when they had never once seen rain? How did Joseph know when as a child, he was given a dream, and instead of his brothers bowing down to him, they threw him into a pit, and then sold him as a slave. And later, after finding favor as a slave, he was falsely accused and falsely imprisoned and kept believing in the dream? How did Mary know when that angel Gabriel appeared and told her she would be pregnant by God and not a man and then her baby God-man was hung on a cross for being innocent? 

~Was it through experiencing (and recognizing) His love, as the child who jumps freely into her father's arms because he has never let her down?

~Was it through observation of Creation, as in the perfect rhythm of seconds, minutes, hours, days, seasons?

~Was it through hearing about His faithfulness and His power in the lives of the tellers-of-stories? 

Yes, all of these things. All of these things are my wings! The foundation of my trust in God when He calls me to jump are from seeing and hearing of His power and faithfulness! 

This is why we tell our stories of His mighty works in our lives and in the lives of His people of the past. To give others wings! 

What is He calling you to do? Are you flying?

What is your story? Are you telling it?

“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,

“and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
    and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
    nor will there be one after me.
~Isaiah 43:10~

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

When You're Soul-Weary In A Desert And Everyone Else Has Plenty Of Water

Thoughts of walking through a desert haunt my mind. The wanting of shade for comfort, wanting of water for refreshing, sustaining and cooling my parched and weary body. A weary-wandering in a vast, dry, mostly lifeless land.  

We can feel like we are wandering in a desert as we live here in a land of plenty of water, a land with plenty of shade.

The soul’s journey is far different from that of the body. We can be surrounded by joy-filled faces, when our hearts feel barren, dry and shriveled. 

When I was experiencing depression, for several years my soul was parched and I longed for relief. I sought it in counseling and left without water. I sought it in comfort from a Pastor, and left without water. I sought it from friends and family...and received sips.

I sought it at a conference for women called Set Apart and found the river. I found the river, but I had to leave and go home. It was only a weekend of refreshing, though I took a reserve home, I needed to have the daily, the hourly drink of water. 

My relief came. I found the water, and I found the shade in the Word of God. I spent three hours some days, but at least an hour every day sitting at my kitchen table with Jesus. [John 1:1] As I sat with Him, the refreshing stream of life-giving truth [John 8:32] lighted the dark places, transforming my thinking, healing my hurts, enabling me to relate with people in a healthy way. I have grown to understand my value to God regardless of what people do, think or say about me. [~mostly thats true~some things are a life-long learning processes, right?]

I've also found refreshing in groups of women who were seeking the water and the shade too. Not for such dark reasons as my depression, but seeking it for healing of their hearts, wisdom for their lives, and quenching of their thirst for more than 'this'. Together we have found the River that satisfies. The source of life. [Revelation 22:1]

You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

~Psalm 63:1

Monday, September 10, 2012

Good Morning!

How to start the day...the week right. 
Michael Card sings it here.
(click on the 'play' arrow for
A Morning Prayer)
Happy Monday Morning!