Parenting: A Preparing & Purity Parallel

It has been nearly a year since we threw a huge party in our yard. Preparing for Kayla and Andrew's wedding consumed my time and attention for eight months prior to the party, and the joys of the party have lingered over the course of this year as we (my husband and I) have watched their union grow and develop, and as we have seen the Lord working in their lives.

The fact that the Lord designed marriage to be a physical picture of a spiritual reality brings a sense of wonder, and an invitation to meditate on the message(s) that He desires for us to have...

I mentioned eight months of preparation, but actually we had been "grooming" Kayla as her parents since her birth for this next phase of life that she entered on Sept 4, 2009. Our desire has been for her life to express and represent Jesus by loving, honoring and obeying Him. One of my deep desires for both of my children is that when they go to the altar to give themselves to their spouse, that they be pure. I have specifically prayed for that from the beginning of their lives.

There were times when we had to intensely battle in prayer for Kayla's purity. The enemy had designs to ensnare her. But we were watchful. We were prayerful, and the Lord alerted us to things as they needed to be addressed. I marvel at hindsight. Seeing the times that God brought things to our attention, going to prayer, and then seeing Him bring about good. He kept her safe, He kept her pure.

So...look at the spiritual picture, and the message in it from God for His Bride...

"But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. Matthew 25:10

Scripture tells us Jesus is the Bridegroom, and His Church is His Bride. His Bride should spend her time getting ready for when he comes for us.

Before I tell you what we did right (by God's grace) to prepare her, I will tell you that we made many mistakes. But the Lord is merciful and gave us grace and second chances in our messes as we kept turning to Him. He honored and blessed our desire for His will to be carried out, and His vision for Kayla's life that He planted in our hearts. Remember too, that He promises to hear the prayers of His people that are according to His will.

Getting ready for the wedding day wasn't only about landscaping, decorations, dress-shopping, and picking out music...it was attending to the Word of God, teaching Kayla, taking her to the places where she would be given the light of the knowledge of truth. Keeping her from traps and snares of the enemy who wanted to steal, kill and destroy her, her purity, and her faith. We were continually watchful for things in her life that would take her away from Jesus. That would impose on her purity...All of that was bathed in prayer and implimented by time spent with Jesus; listening to His words and obeying Him. Realizing that we would be held accountable for how we invested our time and energy with what He had entrusted to us.

There were times when I unintentionally offended people with my choices and beliefs. I turned off movies five minutes in, when they had friends over, if they had contents that were offensive to God. I kept them out of field trips, movies, and certain classes that would be offensive to God. I wrote letters to teachers about things I felt strongly about... It was uncomfortable for us often times, but knowing it was out of obedience to what God had planted in my heart gave us the motivation to obey and endure any consequences of our obedience.

We made a priority of establishing boundaries between the world and our home. We were careful with our choices regarding what they took into their eyes and ears, what they wore, who they hung out with, what they read and looked at, what they said, where they went, etc.

As I look at some of the things we have done with our kids, I see the same needs for our lives, those of us who await our Bridegroom... as we prepare for The Eternal Wedding Banquet...

• Attend to the Word of God.
• Watch and Pray.
• Establish boundaries between what is worldly and your heart.
• Keep your God-given "gates", your eyes and your ears, pure.
• Go where you can grow.
• Don't go where you wont grow.
• Be willing to be thought crazy. (Dare to be different)
• Keep your eyes on eternal things.
• Trust
• Obey

...and leave the rest to Him who is faithful, will establish you, and is able to keep you and your children blameless until the day of Christ Jesus! Glory to God!

Pause my music on the sidebar, and take a listen to this lovely song by Leeland:

Are We Ready?

...the virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. Matt 25:10b

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! "For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Revelation 19:7

The photo above is of Kayla on her way out to meet Andrew before the wedding for photos.


It was about a year ago that we started planning for their wedding. Every time I browse the photos, I marvel at all that we accomplished in those 8 months and what life was like as we got ready. It was full, and busy, sometimes a little crazy, and now I can tell you...especially rewarding!


Looking back, I wonder how? How did we do that? When Kayla first told us she wanted to get married outside on our farm, we said, "No way!" I didn't think we could pull it off. It might be too stressful... But as we researched, and talked with others who had done it, we decided it was what we should do. Here are the things that come to mind:

• Plan: We started with a lunch date to cast vision and began making lists of what we wanted to accomplish.
• Focus: I had to focus on the big day. In doing so, I could prioritize what was on my "to do" list each day.
• Vision: We had a vision of what "the day" would look like.
• Prioritize: When there are so many things to do, knowing what to set aside in light of the goal is essential.
• Diligence with Rest: There were days when I just couldn't "go to it" as I should, but after taking a little break, I would determine to get back on task.
• Saying No: There were numerous things that beckoned us, expecially in the summer, but we had to say "no" to in order to stay on task.
• Prayer: Since our day was outside, we needed it to be a nice one. Daily prayer as I worked in the yard, and made lists helped me not to fear, and to be able to leave the day in God's hands. Anxiety would have bogged down my journey.
• Keeping Track: Continually reviewing how things were going helped us to know if we needed to change something, call someone, or cancel something.

How similar our journey is as we get ready for our future banquet as the Bride of Christ!


It brings me to ask the question,"How are our preparations going?"


Do we have a plan? A focus? A vision? How are our priorities? Are we diligent in our pursuit of purity?
Are we resting in the finished work of Christ as we walk toward our destination? Are we saying "no" to the sin that entangles and distracts? Denying ourself temporary pleasures? Are we meeting Jesus daily and keeping short accounts with Him?


Lord Jesus, your word says you are coming for a Pure Bride (click here for song) who has made herself ready. Help us to keep our focus on eternity and not on our comfort or pleasure in this life. Lord, you say if we love you we obey your commands...Help us love you with our obedience. Where we are wandering and straying from your path for us, bring us back. Help us to desire You above everything. Thank you that you are so Beautiful and Worthy of our devotion and praise. How we long to be in Your Presence!!

Are you ready? Are you filled with anitcipation?

I have to admit, sometimes I forget...that we are headed toward

A BIG PARTY!!!

Purity~worth the effort

I have been scarce in blogworld lately. You know that feeling of being so busy that you are always a step behind where you should be? Weariness comes when you have a full plate.
I am encouraged that Paul talks about being "hard pressed on every side; pressed but not crushed..." because otherwise I would have a guilt trip about saying "yes" to too many things. The truth is, I believe I am in the center of God's will. Trials are for refining and stretching, growing in reliance on Jesus. Walking in the Spirit.

Yes, sometimes he allows us to be stretched. It has been a joy really, to be doing a unit with our youth group on s*xual purity and biblical dating. I have learned so much in my research. So much I wish I had known when Kayla was in middle school. Alas, wisdom was waiting for a few more grey hairs...lol

I have already had the privelege of sharing my new insight often. The Lord has given me opportunities to speak to moms, to encourage and to illuminate the truth. I highly want to recommend two little books that say MIGHTY THINGS...I wish every Christian would read both of these books to glean the wisdom inside of them for guiding and instructing thier children in remaining pure.

"The Purity Principle" by Randy Alcorn
"Secret Keeper" (the delicate power of modesty) by Dannah Gresh

Please look into these books, and check out Dannah's website. You can find it here. It is a wonderful resource for mothers and middle school girls!

So far we covered "what you take in". Then we had a couple come in and speak through their tears of the pain of p*rn~ he lost his teaching job after being caught and thier lives have changed dramatically. It was gripping, and heart~wrenching, but also filled with hope as they have grabbed hold of God's grace and He is making a way for restoration. This week we looked at "what you put on" and how the heart is directly related to modesty.

Next Wednesday will be "physical contact". The recurring theme with every topic is "having established boundaries". I used a fence analogy to describe how God's laws are like fences to keep us safe, and when we get outside the bounds of God's ways, we are "reaping destruction". My dear sister used the analogy of a bridge over a vast body of water. She described going over to the edge and how it starts to shred the heart, and going outside the guard rail, the heart is torn. In "The Purity Principle", Randy Alcorn uses a road...

Sisters, we have so many hurting kids, so many that are vulnerable & make foolish choices at a high cost. The consequences spill over on everyone around them. In talking with my son about his school experience (he is a jr.), purity is very rare, and very difficult for the few who are attempting to walk the high road. Unless we pray and teach our children, it will only get worse!

I find it difficult to narrow down these important topics to a one~hour talk. The Lord has been faithful. Please pray for me as I attempt to pull together the next topic. Pray for clarity, direction, and to effectively communicate the truth! Much love bloggy sisters! Thank you!