About Face

I have been allowing myself to be "overbooked". It is my desire to get through the hard work fast and get on to the fun stuff. I don't allow myself to enjoy the process~when I forget to intentionally slow down and~enjoy the process.

We have set Ethan's graduation party for June 13th, so we decide to do a little "tweaking" in the house. Oddly we made this decision at the time when Spring has sprung, and the workload outside on our hobby farm increases exponentially. DUH.

But, it is exciting to have a vision, to take the bull by the horns and forge ahead! And we did, but as I was "forging with my bullhorns" I was "wearing weight of undone outside projects"...you see, I have at least 8 flower beds, foundation plantings and a vegetable garden to care for along with a yard that must be an acre with LOTS of obstacles, rocks, and hills...

I am happy to report that indoor project is mostly complete, but the "outdoor list" remains quite long.

Tuesday, my mom called me just as I was about to get on with the day. Now. I have NEVER had a problem stopping everything and taking time for a phone call...I love to chat! Unfortunately, I wasn't in my "usual" frame of mind. Mom wanted me to pray with her. Just before praying, I started to "moan" a bit about "how much I had to do today..."

But then.
I heard the still small voice...you know the One..."Kathy, is this YOUR day? Or is it MY day?"
Oh Lord, I am terribly sorry...as we went to prayer, mercy washed over me and we prayed for great accomplishments despite the time we took to pray.

At the end of the day, I wasn't as satisfied with "accomplishments" as I would have liked, and again, a nagging frustration weighed on me.

Wednesday, before I started my day, I called my friend, who is having waves of adversity wash over her life, to see how she was doing. She couldn't talk then, and promised to call back shortly. So I altered my plans to leave the house and got a little lost reading up on some news. Eventually she called back, and I got the update, when just before going to prayer for her, I began (yes again) to moan over all I had to do, when I (yes again) heard that still small voice..."Kathy, ..."

Repent again. Apologize to my dear friend. Pray. Mercy.

And do you know what happened? Friend prayed for me. I know she did, because I got out in the yard a I WON!!! (well I still have a couple of gardens that need attention, but the biggies got done!) I guess I needed Mom's and Friend's prayers!!

Needless to say, my meditation time while gardening was on the "why" behind me grabbing my life back and filling it with high expectaions...and then... letting them go. Sweet relief!

Michael Card sings: "And it's hard to imagine the freedom we find from the things we leave behind..."

Once again I say, "Not my will, but yours be done Lord."

Romans 12: 1-2

Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
 

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God

The hymn happens to be a favorite though it isn't one from my childhood. I have become familiar with it since my new birth. I have framed it and have it hanging in my office.

Just today I had a call from a war~weary soldier who was having a hard time seeing over the top of the curb. For some reason the Lord has allowed her to be buffeted repeatedly and with more things at once than you can imagine. I know a few who are facing severe trials. It is like the waves keep coming crashing upon the shore of their hearts, families, bodies...Lord have mercy and strengthen my friends!

I read her the hymn. All four verses. Click here to read the lyrics. Perhaps you or someone you know needs encouragement and a refreshing view of our eternal reality...

And though this world, with devils filled,

should threaten to undo us,

We will not fear, for God hath willed

His truth to triumph through us.

This is our hope...that His truth WILL triumph through us. Get up into it! Don't lose hope. Don't let the devil disourage you. Rest in the loving, powerful arms of Jesus.

Quieter Days Ahead

This is my baby.

He is graduating soon.

Just wanted to let you know...I have been extra busy with rearranging our house, planning a party, picking out photos, getting invites printed, working my new position in my church as Women's Ministry Leader, and keeping my shop running, yard clean, and the ever circulating laundry done...On top of that, my bff has health struggles, and life is just ......LIFE! Keeping on my knees, and then all that other stuff leaves me little computer time. It has been a nice break, but I am looking forward to quieter days ahead to reconnect with my blogging friends...Lazy days of summer (Is there such a thing? I hope so!)

Life is beautiful!

Blessings to you!

Prayer

As I attended a meeting with Pastor, Mrs Pastor and a few others to plan our fall focus on prayer a couple years ago, I was aware of the Lord's favor on our pursuit. He wants His house to be a house of prayer!

How I am coming to realize the greatest hindrance to faithful worship, or growth, or victory is prayerlessness. We are so stunted in our understanding of prayer it seems. There is so much to learn at the feet of Jesus. There is so much fulfullment, so much nourishment, such abundance untapped when we fail to come to Him.

I started a book by EM Bounds. The intro states that he rose @ 4am and prayed daily until 7am. Three hours with the Lord every day!! As I read his meditations, I am awed at the depth of his thoughts. His understanding of the grace of prayer is profound. He speaks of the relationship between faith and prayer; trust and prayer; longing, and desire and attentiveness to prayer.

When I think about the victories and the failures in my life and the lives of my loved ones, I can see the result of prayer or prayerlessness. Whenever I hear of or observe a victory, I know, I KNOW that prayer is behind it! Whenever I see a mess, I understand the need to pray.

A story a young woman told at a confrence I attended was of her growing up as a good PK (pastor's kid) and then going off to a Christian college, but becoming entangled with the world. She ended up pregnant and ashamed to tell her parents, so she was going to get an abortion. She was on her way, when she described the Holy Spirit spoke to her and she turned around. Out of desperation then, she went to her parents who, of course embraced her. When she told her story, I looked at my mom who was with me, and declared, "She had a praying mom!" My spirit confirmed it. I knew it to be true! She is now working with crisis pregnancy center. God...mmmm...working all for good! Redeemer, Restorer, Rescuer...chooses to work through or prayers.

His favor is on His children when we pray.

Even them I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer...my house shall be called a house of prayer. Isaiah 56:7

Memory Triggers

After going to the bars in another town that were open til 2am, we were on the road home. My girlfriend was driving and I was staying overnight at her house. I was living in MN at the time, and the drinking age was lower in WI so I made regular trips over the river where several of my friends from Cosmetology School lived.

I remember feeling like we were going a little too fast. You never really know what kind of shape your drinking buddies are in, but trust that they know...We were going around a large curve, and I remember seeing a fence post in the ditch, and I knew we were going to roll, because in my drunken state I said to myself, "at least the fence post will stop us."

When the car landed it was laying on the passenger door, which meant my friend was on top of me. She was in a heap, not functioning very well. Two things were on my mind: 1. I had to go soooo bad, and was releived to find I hadn't peed my pants. 2. We gotta get out of here because I had seen what happened to rollovers on TV (because I watched "Chips") ...it might blow! So I said, "Fred, (that was her nickname) we gotta get out of here!"

Somehow I managed to stand and lift her door and we were able to crawl out and jump to the ground. First thing I did was take care of business, and as I was doing that, a man was coming out of  his house across the street, he had awakened to the sound of our rollover and was inquiring if we were alright. I yelled for him to stay there until I was decent.

Miraculously, we were not hurt. Fred's mom took me to the hospital to get checked out in the morning, and I just had a few bruises. I was shaken. She expressed to me that "Someone" had been watching out for us that night. I agreed.

To this day, whenever I am driving around a curve, I lift my foot off the gas to ready myself to break. Curves trigger an auto response in my foot almost every time. Unless I intentionally refrain. It has been probably 24 years since my rollover.

I have noticed the same kind of thing with emotional "accidents"...Past conflicts trigger auto responses in me. If I have angered someone and they have yelled, or come at me with an accusing tongue, I find it hard to trust that person again. I fear wronging them because of the pain that I remember.

Recently it has come to my attention that I need to intentionally overcome the fears that jump into my mind in those circumstances in order to have freedom in my relationships. I felt this week that the Lord wanted me to overcome one such obstacle, and I took a step in that direction. It was hard because I had to open stuff I would rather keep closed. I took the risk of bringing more conflict instead of greater peace, but as I went ahead prayerfully, I saw the Lord work. I have a deep longing for peace and freedom in this relationship. I will continue to work toward that. What I need to do is remove the obstacles that I have control of (with the Lord's help) and then trust Him with the rest.

I was wondering if anyone has a story of the Lord helping them overcome memory triggers...

1 John 5:4

...for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.