Friday, April 30, 2010
I have been allowing myself to be "overbooked". It is my desire to get through the hard work fast and get on to the fun stuff. I don't allow myself to enjoy the process~when I forget to intentionally slow down and~enjoy the process.
We have set Ethan's graduation party for June 13th, so we decide to do a little "tweaking" in the house. Oddly we made this decision at the time when Spring has sprung, and the workload outside on our hobby farm increases exponentially. DUH.
But, it is exciting to have a vision, to take the bull by the horns and forge ahead! And we did, but as I was "forging with my bullhorns" I was "wearing weight of undone outside projects"...you see, I have at least 8 flower beds, foundation plantings and a vegetable garden to care for along with a yard that must be an acre with LOTS of obstacles, rocks, and hills...
I am happy to report that indoor project is mostly complete, but the "outdoor list" remains quite long.
Tuesday, my mom called me just as I was about to get on with the day. Now. I have NEVER had a problem stopping everything and taking time for a phone call...I love to chat! Unfortunately, I wasn't in my "usual" frame of mind. Mom wanted me to pray with her. Just before praying, I started to "moan" a bit about "how much I had to do today..."
I heard the still small voice...you know the One..."Kathy, is this YOUR day? Or is it MY day?"
Oh Lord, I am terribly sorry...as we went to prayer, mercy washed over me and we prayed for great accomplishments despite the time we took to pray.
At the end of the day, I wasn't as satisfied with "accomplishments" as I would have liked, and again, a nagging frustration weighed on me.
Wednesday, before I started my day, I called my friend, who is having waves of adversity wash over her life, to see how she was doing. She couldn't talk then, and promised to call back shortly. So I altered my plans to leave the house and got a little lost reading up on some news. Eventually she called back, and I got the update, when just before going to prayer for her, I began (yes again) to moan over all I had to do, when I (yes again) heard that still small voice..."Kathy, ..."
Repent again. Apologize to my dear friend. Pray. Mercy.
And do you know what happened? Friend prayed for me. I know she did, because I got out in the yard a I WON!!! (well I still have a couple of gardens that need attention, but the biggies got done!) I guess I needed Mom's and Friend's prayers!!
Needless to say, my meditation time while gardening was on the "why" behind me grabbing my life back and filling it with high expectaions...and then... letting them go. Sweet relief!
Michael Card sings: "And it's hard to imagine the freedom we find from the things we leave behind..."
Once again I say, "Not my will, but yours be done Lord."
Romans 12: 1-2
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.