Christmas Rescued Me

Mind weighed with chains

Heart-ache and pain...

Dark prison cold

stone walls of shame.

Seeking release

Reach-straining for peace.

Seeing my sin

Oh, only my sin and

the cavernous crater of guilt within.

When the Deceiver

whispered to me, "no hope"

 I searched and I yearned

for a rescuing rope...

The Liar, he said,

"you have gone too far...

The Mercy will never

reach where you are.

You have done 

the abominable thing.

Trusted yourself

so you'll no longer sing.

Of that Christ-child 

come down

with his promise of peace,

For you have

lost your place

and you have

lost your seat.

His table is no longer

open for the likes of you.

You are so filthy-dirty

you'll never be made new."

And came the glorious LIGHT

into my dark-long night.

The Truth of Love's

endurance.

Found me.

Gave hope.

Assurance.

The baby-God was sent

into the cold, dark night,

came to my chilled

 burden-weary heart

with His oil-fire Light.

With His hand He 

cupped my chin

Lifted my eyes to Him.

Stood me to my feet,

He made me whole. 

I'm now complete.

 My soul sings as Jesus prays

that I'll dwell in His Son-rays.

The light of His Love-face

beaming mercy and sweet grace. 

I have come into the world as light, 

so that whoever believes in me 

may not remain in darkness. 

John 12:46

because of the tender mercy of our God,
   whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
to give light to those who sit in darkness

and in the shadow of death,
   to guide our feet into the way of peace."

Luke 1:78-79

A Familiar Rut

Prone to bear weights of responsibility and prone to fear failing at just about everything. Prone, but not always living in that rut in the road...I find myself stuck there still from time to time. Usually the times are full of "to-do's" and deadlines.

I found myself in such a rut a day or two ago. It seems that as I traveled along the past two weeks or so, the jagged groove in the road got deeper, but I didn't recognize it for what it was because it was gradual (and did I mention I am prone to it?). I should recognize the rugged ridges of the rut when I begin to feel weary, and when the familiar fear of dropping {failing} one of the things on my "to-do" list bears on my mind.

The surest warning sign should be the absence of joy and the pressure of duty upon my heart. Jesus doesn't lead one there. (Matthew 11:28)

The Bible calls it "leaning on my own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5-6). The rut is the hard, stuck place I find myself in when I have been once again living in my own strength, independent of God. I forget to "acknowledge Him in all my ways" so that He is directing my path {thus keeping me out of the rut}.

I took a "time-out" on Thursday night to watch Princess Diaries with my friend Holly and two of her sweet offspring. Afterward, when the two went to bed, we sat on her couch and talked about our dreams, and difficulties and Jesus and His never-failing grace. 

She had wonderful reports of sweet ways that Jesus had spoken into her life and affirmed her in her new worship-dance ministry called Karar {Karar is a Hebrew word for dance} where she is  teaching people to express worship to God through movement. {It's lovely by the way!} 

Jesus spoke through her husband, through a friend, and through His word. I rejoiced with her and a longing was sparked in my own soul. 

On my way home, I told Jesus I needed desperately to hear from Him. I needed a cup of His living water for my weary soul. I acknowledged that I had worked my way into the rut once again and I needed Him to deliver me out. To remind me that this life I live is not mine to live any longer. (Galatians 2:20). True to His ever-faithfulness, His Spirit spoke to me of the lesson I have learned over and over and over again...such great patience He has for me! 

He invited me to sit awhile by the well with Him. (Psalm 23:2-3) He said to me, "walk free, Kathy. Remember live from my love, it casts out fear" (Galatians 5:1, 13-14; 1 John 4:18)

Sometimes we just need a "time-out" with a friend...