Accusation Suspension

It is never the voice of God that slings stones of condemnation when you are in Christ. Its our soul-enemy that does that. {See Revelation 12:10} Often he just yells in our head, but he also uses people.

The condemnation that I felt before receiving the forgiveness of sin by surrendering my life to Jesus was a gift. Because it led me to find Him. Discomfort serves to seek solutions. I like how that works.

But after finding Him {or rather He found me, lost as I was...} I still struggled with feeling horrible when I didn't do something right. I knew I needed to be gentle, kind, and loving but, sometimes I wasn't.

One day my four-year-old grabbed a bowl sitting on the counter with leftover milk from cereal, and the sticky milk went flying, and so did I. Flying off the handle. Words went slinging. 

I was mortified two seconds later with my high expectations and unreasonable reaction toward my little blonde girl, eyes wide scared at how her mommy morphed. Instantly I apologized and told her that wasn't how God wanted mommies to act. But the aftermath of remorse in my heart went on for some time.

Then I went back to this verse: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1

There are certain passages of scripture that I think if it were possible, I have worn right through like my favorite wool socks. Threadbare on the bottom of the heels....only with scripture being eternal, there is no such chance of having it fail. Eternal truth to keep me eternally forgiven. In Christ.

It takes less time these 20 years later to appropriate the truth of those words. I know my Savior better than I did then. I know myself better. I am not afraid of being found out as a sinner because really...who isn't one? Now it goes something like this: I fail--> I feel bad--> I find forgiveness-->I fly forward.

Sin is a birth defect of the heart. It is like my funny club thumbs. There's nothing I can do to change them, they came on my hands. Its why Jesus came. To cure my heart-defect (I might wish my thumbs but...) Only by His life laid down can I be free from condemnation and no longer tied to the past sins.

I'm free to fly by faith now, even after times of flying off the handle. Which, by the way, is less often as I learn from the One I follow.

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