I wonder if anyone else finds themselves trying too hard. I mean living in their own strength. It is my default mode. If I wander in my heart, or mind from the Lord, it is because I am relying on me again.....
Today my husband was off work and he likes to talk through his plans with me (I just sit down and make a list, so I don't understand this need) So I find myself feeling impatient and, instead of just giving myself to listening and allowing the Lord to minister to him through me. I am sitting there thinking I have "whatever" to do...As if "whatever" is more important. Then I feel anxious to move on to "whatever" when it is not nearly as important as the ministry to my husband that the Lord has called me to. UGH!
This week I have been feeling the weight of things instead of resting in the Lord. I am so sorry. It isn't pleasant and I am forsaking the peace and rest He has so generously given me. Am I doubting His love? Am I too focused on the tasks or the people and not on Jesus? It's time for me to leave my Martha mentality and sit like Mary. What is odd is I have spent time in His Word, and praying, but I wonder if I haven't made the right connection...much like my time with my husband, maybe I wasn't really listening with my heart.
O Lord, make me more like you! Thank you for the daily power washing in your cleansing blood. Grace free and forever. Praise you, Jesus!!