We sent Kayla off to be a core counselor at our church camp last Sunday. It seems like yesterday when I went up as a counselor her 4th grade year. Where have the years gone? I was telling a friend the other day that if I had more kids I wouldn't be so nastalgic about things right now as I would have the younger ones to focus on. I keep finding myself pondering the past, recalling as much as I can and cherishing the memories. Not that that is bad, but it becomes a little meloncholy when you are entering a phase of life that is...quieter.
When Ethan got his license in March, I felt like my hands suddenly became empty. I don't have to (get to???) go pick him up after track practice. He can drive himself to his weekend events, I can go to bed before midnight on the weekends. (I didn't say I actually do....) I can have him get things for me when he is out (if I somehow remember to ask him:-d and send him money!)
Sunday we had a big breakfast together. We invited Kayla's boyfriend, and had a few laughs together as we usually do. Then we went out on the porch, the day was sunny, the lilacs and the crabapple trees were filling the air with their sweet fragrance, birds were singing their songs, and we took turns praying for her. She had tears, and then, you guessed it...so did I. I know, I know, it's not like she is leaving for good!! She will be back in August, but it was the sweetness of the moments and the longings of a mother's heart fulfilled. A daughter who loves the Lord and follows His call. Our family praying together-the sweet love of Jesus binding our hearts together.
It was somehow satisfying, as if I had just completed a part of a series of artwork or a book. There are other pieces to come, I know, but you get the picture.
Now that I have reached "the hill"...plus 3 (get it?) I realize I have as much to look back on as look forward to. The forward isn't quite as exciting as it is in your 20's or 30's. But life is sweet because I can see the hand of God more clearly, and rest in Him comes a bit easier. Faith is stronger, because experience is a wonderful teacher. The Holy Spirit reveals more as the years go on. I finally see that His work is ongoing and He makes progress faithfully (it hasn't always felt like it, and actually I have felt at times I have lost ground...but Praise God that He doesn't even waste that!!)
God is good. That's the conclusion of this rambling message. I love Him and I am glad He is my Lord!