The Ways Diverge

photo via flikr by Simon Whitaker

I saved a poem off of a church bulletin many years ago, I cannot find it right now, but I think I have it memorized, so here goes:

The ways diverge,
I stand and look them over
and hot thoughts surge about my heart.
And this I know,
I must choose one by which to go.
This one is flower strewn I see,
that one is rock strewn,
steep and foreboding,
dark and grim,
yet Christ walked there,
I'll walk with Him.

If you have read my blog off and on over the years, you might have glimpsed that I love contrast. Maybe it has to do with my "artistic leaning" (though I don't consider myself great at any of the art forms...I love dance, design, decorating and drama~well, at least watching the drama...)

As shadows enhance the light in paintings, I delight in observing how the bitter in life enhances the sweet. I love that in God's word we often find contrasts: Dark/Light...Evil/Good....Strong/Weak...etc.

Life is characterized by contrast and I feel it as well within my own heart. A contrast. Perhaps a synonym would be more appropriate: a conflict or divergence...

Since I invited Jesus to take ownership of my life, I desire to please Him, but often end up doing the opposite of what I want to do. Paul talks about that in Romans 7:21, 22 ...when I want to do good,, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind... and it hurts. It hurts when I fail...It hurts God, me and others.

...but he gives us more grace...(I am forever grateful!)

I sense contrasts in our society today as well; there are conflicting beliefs and ideas that are bringing a spirit of disunity. The devil is up to his destruction~inducing schemes. But we, His followers must not get weary, we need to remember the opposition Jesus endured and be encouraged. And we must remember what he instructed us to do in the face of conflict. Love and pray for our enemies, speak the truth in love, and do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

That is a tall order for someone who confessed a paragraph above that I don't do what I want to do...(being obedient in these areas), but the good news is found a couple of verses later in Romans 7:24, 25...What a wretched man I am!Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!

What that means is that I cannot do it. In my human strength I cannot love my enemies or overcome my sinful tendencies. That is humanly impossible. But by the grace of Jesus, after being baptized into him, and by His power in me, I can...I can! We can! You can!

Look at these contrasts: (I saw these on LPM blog today)

In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Acts 2:17 (GOOD!)


But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 Timothy 3:1 (BAD)

Contrast?!? Yes! As we increasingly see the disunity and bickering, finger-pointing, and deception, immorality and rebellion, we will also be seeing more of God. (WAAAHOOOOO!!!)  That is what I am determining to focus on and look for from this day forward. You see, it is easy to see the darkness closing in, but it is an act of faith to see past it to the Light that overcomes the darkness!

Lord, help me abide in You, to fix my eyes on You, the Light of the world!

★WALK BY FAITH★NOT BY SIGHT★

Jesus Power

This morning, as Jesus says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest..." I came. Weary. It seemed everywhere I went in my house was an unfinished task or one needing tending. Laundry, messy bathroom, etc. On top of that were the other duties of the day: wrapping, baking, and preparing for hosting Christmas here on Thursday. I was frankly feeling like a failure and discouragement was threatening to set in. You know the kind? Like you are sitting down to eat an elephant in one sitting...and you think you might throw up just looking at it...

As I came to Him, His word spoke clearly, "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit," says the Lord Almighty. Zech 4:6

I took note that He added 'Almighty' to the end of His Name.

Then He said to me, "I remove mountains, part seas & bring down walls by the hands of my servants."

I realized the emphasis I was placing on me to get the things done that I was feeling overwhelmed about. And He gently re-reminds me that it is not in my strength that I accomplish anything.

I said, "here I am again, Lord." relying on little ole me. Isaiah 41:14 Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob (Kathy), O little Israel, for I myself will help you," declares the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

Forgive me. Cleanse me. Help me.

I then rearranged my expectations by stepping back and looking from a different angle, changed my focus (From me to HE), and set about conquering the elephant "one bite at a time" with the help of my Emanuel. God with me. The Great Gift of all time. The whole point of our Christmas celebration.

I just needed to experience His Presence (my Present) afresh.

And to think...He gave me frosting on the elephant, I have time to blog at the end of the day!I'll say it again...AMAZING GRACE!

An Age Old Lesson

I have been battling a grumbling spirit, yes. And right before THANKSGIVING...and I admit, a few times he has won. I have failed to resist. It squares with my old nature, part of which I am still in need of giving a crucifixion-daily.

As one can see in the book of Exodus, as Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt to the promised land, once grumbling started, all hell broke loose-the enemy had a foothold, I mean. Faith ended and idolatry began...think the golden calf, the quail, the bitter water...

So what happens to me or you when we grumble? The darkness begins to get the upper hand. The cloud sets in. I find myself growing more negative if I allow it. I used to think I was a victim of my thoughts. One day the Lord showed me differently. He made it clear that it was a choice I made, that I had control - by yielding my will to His Spirit-it's called obedience. I also can choose my focus. How do I see things? Through the lens of "poor me" or the other one "He is faithful". I need to check my pronouns in my thought life-are they me or He???

Be joyful ALWAYS, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. REMIND ME LORD! HELP ME!

Tonight we had a lovely Thanksgiving service @ church, highlighting being thankful, and how it accompanies joy. We lose joy if we are not grateful. I spend alot of time praising and thanking God, but when I get busy, too busy...too busy because I have over-extended myself saying "yes" to too many things (and that during the hormone crisis of the month), I end up having the struggle w/ "grumpy-spirit". I praise God that He has given me everything I need to resist the devil and make him flee. I praise Him that by His Spirit, I can take the thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. And I thank Him for His loving kindness that leads me to repentance when I cave to "grumpy-spirit". I thank Him that my Jesus' blood covers my sin once again. Grace.

When we are weak, He is strong.
HAVE A HAPPY, JOY-FILLED THANKSGIVING!

Mind Muddle

Praise the Lord O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Psalm 103:1

"Quagmire" That is what I kept thinking I was in yesterday...only I wasn't sure what it meant so I looked it up and it is "in a bog". I realized I was in a bog(wet spongy ground/swamp) in my mind. A hard place to get out of and very frustrating. I felt anxious, and wasn't articulating what was going on. As I prayed this morning about it, the Lord showed me what my quagmire consisted of. Now I need His help to get out.

I have struggled with "fear of man" or- as Joyce Meyers book-title puts it:(which I have not read, but suspect I could have written) "Approval Addiction". Mostly I fear disappointing those in authority over me...first my dad, then my husband. I have also struggled with certain friends who are "authorative" in nature. And I realized this morning how I sometimes do with my daughter. I knew by her countanance that she was upset with me, but she can never seem to tell me why until hours later.I have tried to press her for the "why" so often, but it makes it more difficult. So I must wait until she is ready. Until then, though I speculate and feel like I have failed her and feel anxious to fix things.

Later then, my husband asked the question a wife doesn't want to hear at the end of a challenging and (what felt like an) unproductive day..."What did you get done???" YIKES I felt right away like the failure I am always trying so hard not to be. Worse, I felt like I had failed the Lord in failing my daughter and then my husband (he's hoping I get some painting done on some birdhouses he made to sell)

So I asked Jesus, "what is this quagmire? How do I get out?"
"I am your defender, your strong tower, your deliverer"
But Lord, I should have made my husband's priorities my priorities today. (guilt)
"But you made my priorities your priorities today, didn't you ask me to guide you? Do you trust me to come through for you? Who are you resting in? You or Me?"
I am trying to do it all perfectly (in my own strength again...)I guess that'd be me. And Lord, it isn't restful at all when I am acting like this.
"Okay, put it all over here, remember, my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I'll carry the weight. You just walk here beside me, okay? Let me work this all out."

So today, I found out my husband wasn't really as disappointed as I thought. I have done much praying and talking with Kayla and Jesus is bringing growth to both of us through the challenges in our relationship. We both need to trust more (the Lord and each other). And Oh,...we need to try to keep it light. (I am the worst at taking things too seriously)

Father, praise you for your ever persent help when I get stuck in a quagmire. Please help me rest and trust more in your perfect plan. Give me grace to lighten up. Thank you that you make bitter things sweet. Thank you that you use our weaknesses to show your strength. Thank you for your loving kindness. Forgive me for trying to achieve what you came to give me. Help me stop doing that!! Amen